Worst Of The Worst: Products

Head On

Oh the sheer annoyingness of Head On. For the longest time when I saw said commercial I had no idea what the fuck Head On did in the slightest. I mean it's not like the commercial exactly explains what Head On should be used for (though it does instruct you where to apply it). So imagine my surprise when I found out later that it is supposed to cure headaches, which makes zero to no sense at all because 1.) It resembles a stick of super glue and 2.) There's a wondrous drug on the market called aspirin that is pretty effective.

Ayds

The number one rule when putting out a product has to be the name. More specifically that your name doesn't resemble a devastatingly deadly sexually transmitted disease, especially when you are trying to sell a shoddy appetite suppressant. Also when it comes to appetite suppressants you probably shouldn't label it as "candy". Just my two cents.

The Back Up

The Back Up finally solves that problem of waking up and immediately wanting to shoot something by creating a gun rack for your bed. No doubt the scary thing (besides the fact that people have spent 40 bucks on this thing) is that someone actually thought to them self, "What if I created some sort of bed gun rack"?

Rejuvenique

Rejuvenique is supposed to be a mask that rejuvenates your skin to make you look younger. It is also the thing that nightmares are made of in that it resembles an iron maiden and the mask Michael Myers wears. To make matters worse it "stimulates" your skin, which apparently is a nice term for shocking your face.

Tiddy Bear

Tiddy Bear is the hands down the most worthless product ever. It's a stuffed animal that attaches to your seat belt so that the seat belt doesn't dig into you, oh and it also has an unintentionally hilarious name...or else was created by a pervert. Obviously you could save 15 bucks by using a sock or wear a sweater or something instead of buying a stuffed animal that appears to be fondling you.

-Astroboy