The Sweater

*Not a picture of actual sweater

At some point and time it happens to everyone. We're walking along minding our own business when we've suddenly found ourselves having spent money on something we have begun second guessing immediately after money changes hands. This purchasing of said item would be put in the category of "impulse purchase", while the feeling of self loathing that you feel after throwing down hard earned loot on said impulsive purchase is commonly referred to as "buyers remorse".

It all started on my 21st birthday. I had just moved a month or so ago and hadn't really met anyone. My 21st birthday did not involve massive amounts of liquor that correlated into massive amounts of vomiting. Instead I went to a bar alone and had a few beers while doing homework seeing as it was a Monday. Anyway during that week I had received a check for my birthday and seeing as the birthday wasn't shaping up to be the greatest I decided that I would buy something just for me. Treat myself. For some reason I found myself browsing in a "trendy punk rock store" because I was looking for a new pair of Chucks. Instead my eyes fell upon a sweater and for reasons that are still unexplainable to this day I HAD to have it. There is no explanation why, but my brain immediately coveted the shit out of that sweater. The problem was it sort of resembled this (once again not an actual picture of said sweater, but similar).

Also it was seventy five bucks. That's a 7 followed by a 5 in American dollars for a sweater.

I still to this day have no idea why my mind desperately needed this overpriced union jack sweater, but for some reason I blacked out and found myself on the bus with the sweater in a bag on my lap. After I got home I tried it on again and immediately felt nauseous with buyers remorse. The sweater was sort of itchy...why hadn't I noticed that when I first tried it on? Also why the union jack I wasn't even British? Part of me was ashamed for the momentary lapse of judgement, while the other part of me was embarrassed to go back into said store to return an obviously non-defective sweater.

Over the 8 years that I have owned it I have worn it a handful of times. Once I wore it to a house party where someone asked me if I was wearing the sweater in honor of George Harrison because unbeknownst to me he had passed away that day. It quietly taunted me from my closet until it moved farther into the back to be unspoken of...a forgotten reminder.

Last week my girlfriend brought up buyers remorse and I told her about the sweater and then dug around my closet so she could witness it with her own eyes. She didn't think it looked THAT bad (I'm sure she was simply being nice because she felt sorry for me), but the story did make her feel better about her particular buyers remorse.

Since we're on the subject of sweaters...

-Astroboy