Some Much Needed R & R

Starting tomorrow I'll be taking a much needed vacation for a week or so. Needless to say it will involve plenty of lazing on the beach and no doubt a tropical drink or two (or three or four...).

Anyway since I'll essentially be on an island the old bloggity blog will go on a brief hiatus. Hope everyone has a great 4th of July holiday and I'll get back to the ol' random blogging about stuff in due time.

Now to kick off my vacation right:

-Astroboy

This Is The Last Time...I Promise

After my last post about the passing of Michael Jackson I attempted to steer clear of most TV this weekend due to the inevitable mass speculation of his passing, along with the glut of random thrown together tributes/True Hollywood Stories that no doubt were shown ad nauseum. Also some friends and family were in town...so that helped.

However today I saw this here article that almost made my head explode due to irony.

Anyway the amount of random MJ music videos posted online led me to stumble across this odd music video that I don't think I've ever seen before:

Wow that was like a music video time capsule circa 1987. It's like a Who's Who of 80's celebrities all in one place! In fact I'm almost certain that's the only time you'll ever see Billy Dee Williams, Dan Ackroyd and Steve Guttenberg on motorcycles, Corey Haim, Whoopi Goldberg and Blossom together in anything. I mean all it was missing was Alf drinking a Pina Colada with George Wendt and Bill Cosby dancing in the background!

-Astroboy

A Ranty Tribute Of Sorts

Well if you live on planet Earth then you probably know that Michael Jackson passed away yesterday. I'm sure over the next couple days that the media will mirror the cartoon* above. I watched CNN for maybe 15 minutes this morning as I got ready for work and while it is sad unexpected news for me it is equally as sad how the 24 hour news media will spend the next week or so speculating, hypothesizing, and generally spouting off random opinions all packaged as a morbid "tribute" to a celebrity that they already mercilessly chastised a few years ago only to hold up as a legend now that he has departed.

*Sigh* I guess what I'm getting at is don't I hope they don't beat it into the ground...

Oh and in half assed tribute fashion (and because the web is awash with MJ videos) here is the Indian Thriller:

-Astroboy

*For more cartoons go to pictures for sad children...which I have no affiliation with, but do think is hilarious.

Some Wednesday Weirdness

Well the week is half over so I figured why not present something that will BLOW YOUR MIND! Ummm...well not really "blow" your mind per se, but perhaps make you shake your head in shame and create some sort of migraine.

You see in the 70's Star Wars was so popular that it permeated pretty much everything and was popular. You know what else was popular in the 70's? Variety shows! So here is the one and only Donny and Marie's parody of Star Wars!

OK so you might be like, "Well that's not THAT weird". Well what if I told you Han Solo was played by Kris Kristofferson or that Obi Wan was non-other than Redd Foxx. Oh, and since it's the 70's Paul Lynde makes a cameo!

Jesus it's like staring at a nerdy gaudy 70's era car crash:

-Astroboy

Sad Moments In Comic Book History: Brute Force

Brute Force

During the late 80's early 90's Marvel comics were big into throwing out 4 issue mini-series based on pre-existing properties (toys, cartoons, movies etc.), so it's safe to say that Brute Force remains somewhat of a dumb head scratching anomaly. You see Marvel decided to release a four issue mini-series and then attempt to ride the success of said mini-series by marketing the ever loving shit out of it (toys, cartoons, movies). Basically a reverse of the properties that they themselves were licensing...if that makes sense. Unfortunately the cunning plan revolved around Brute Force, who were a team of cyborg animals who fought ecological terrorists/mad scientists that wanted to destroy the environment. Needless to say a strange combination of talking animals combined with Transformers and Captain Planet didn't really garner much interest in lunch boxes much less cartoons for that matter.

As you can see by the comically sad cover of a robotic dolphin holding some sort of gun Brute Force consisted of animals with cybernetic implants that were created to assist in the seedier side of conservation efforts. You know the kind that involves the need for gun wielding cyber suit wearing animals? With punny code names like Hip Hop (the kangaroo), Lionheart (the lion, duh!), Wreckless (the bear who carried a "bearzooka" *groan*), Soar (uh, the eagle) and Surfstreak (the above mentioned dolphin) Brute Force took on...other more evil robot animal things like a gorilla, rhino, walking shark and so on.

Each suit transformed into something like a motorcycle or tank. So essentially Brute Force was a hybrid abomination like Frankenstein of what Marvel execs thought kids might bug their parents to spend massive amounts of money on when the toy line dropped. I mean kids like animals and robots that transform right? Throw in some lessons about environmentalism and how we can protect earth and that's a no brainer? Except after 4 issues no one cared in the slightest about the adventures of a lion that could transform into a motorcycle fighting an armored rhino all in the name of stopping pollution.

So consider Brute Force a pathetic attempt at Marvel trying to create something wholly original by copying off of other things and failing miserably.

-Astroboy

#28 Plan 9 From Outer Space

#28: Plan 9 From Outer Space

Plan 9 From Outer Space has pretty much become a bad movie cliche to the point where it transcends its sheer awfulness. Over the years it has become embraced in an almost cult classic way for being so over the top bad that people love it. From flubbed lines to a ridiculous plot to continuity mistakes left and right to obvious DIY special effects Plan 9 comes off as the equivalent of a student film made by someone who has never seen much less made a film in their life. In one of my first film classes on our first day we watched what is considered the best movie ever made (Citizen Kane) and on the second day compared it by watching the worst movie ever made...which ended up being Plan 9.

With all the notoriety of Plan 9 being dubbed by some as "the worst film ever made" you would think that I would have put it higher on a list of Bad Movies, however I kept two things in mind:

1. There are a lot of movies that have been made over the years for a lot more money than Plan 9 that are 100x worse.

2. Plan 9 has a sort of oddball charm about it and despite the obvious flaws you can tell that it was lovingly made to the best of Ed Wood's ability.

With all that out of the way it would be a huge oversight to not include Plan 9 when compiling any list of bad movies. The plot revolves around aliens resurrecting zombies and vampires to stop humans from creating a device that will destroy the universe. One of the main draws of the movie is that it is Bela Lugosi's last roll in that they only filmed a couple scenes of him as a vampire in daylight (for an entirely different film I might add). Seeing as Lugosi passed away after that Wood decided to continuously use the Lugosi footage no matter if it breaks continuity or makes sense at all and also use a stand in who looks nothing like Lugosi. Plan 9 is peppered with these amateur mistakes throughout the film whether it be homemade flying saucers on wires, Criswells hammy over the top narration, stilted dialogue that often contradicts itself, continuity being broken (usually day for night scenes); in fact it's safe to say that if you made a drinking game out of taking a shot during every mistake made in Plan 9 that by the end you would have alcohol poisoning.

When all is said and done Plan 9 From Outer Space is a down right awful movie that fully lives up to its less than stellar reputation, however it also shows that anyone who puts their mind to it can make a movie...for better or worse.

-Astroboy

Presidential Butt Kicking

A couple months ago a game came out called Angry Barry President of Butt Kicking. In it Barry ( Barack Obama) decides to run for president the only way he knows how by thoughtful public debate and tireless campaigning... Just Kidding! Didn't you read the title or watch the video? It involves Barry kicking tons of butt to make his way to the White House!

Throughout you can super combo hoards of mad cat ladies and conservatives. At the end of each level you combat bosses like a fireball spewing John McCain, some sort of Mech version of Ronald Reagan and finally pit battle on the White House lawn against the floating demonic head of George W. Bush by fighting him with a giant shoe (subtle, huh?).

Did I mention you can also beat people with cows? Because you totally can!

So yeah Angry Barry is a pretty awesome throwback to the mindless 2-D side scrollers that dominated the 8-bit market, along with being a hilarious over the top violent political commentary. However:

Robot Lincoln Is Not Amused!

Now will someone please make a Fox News fighting game?

-Astroboy